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This week, I was asked, ‘My colleagues think I am mean everytime I share my feedback on their presentation, what can I do differently ?’
Hello ‘Help-me-my-colleagues-think-I-am-mean’! Thank you for writing in. So while, in our heads we all think we are as kind, upbeat and positive as Chris or as direct and respected as Ron, it is very possible that sometimes we are more of Michael Scott. Although we end up loving Michael and he has many endearing qualities, ‘coming straight to the point’ is not one of them. Ofcourse, unlike Michael you are not using the performance review meeting to dissect the tone and intent of messages on your answering machine, but it is very possible that you might not be objective, precise and clear in what your colleague can do to improve their presentation.
So let us begin with what not to do :
Do not disguise personal attack as feedback
As tempting as it might be to get back at Ken for shooting down your brilliant idea the other day or at Barbie for not replacing your yoghurt that she ate, remember Do Not Be Petty. As Amy Farrah Fowler says, if you feel like adding ‘That will show them’ at the end of your comment, you are not coming from a kind place and it is best not to speak. In the same stride, comments on overall appearance (unless someone looked shabby or unprofessional) that have nothing to do with presentation content cross a line.
No generic advice
No telling people - You looked nervous, Just be confident. Have you tried being confident?
This is the same as ‘ Why are you sad? Don’t be sad. Just be happy mate.’
Do you see now? How ridiculous it sounds?
Criticising them for what they are not trained for
I get it, you don’t want presenters in your organisation,you want storytellers. You want your colleagues to paint a picture, share a vision, weave a story. You want them to move the audience with their oratory skills, but be realistic for a second. Have you trained them for that? Does everyone in the organisation need to be storyteller extraordinaire or TED speaker? Errss and ummss are completely normal. They are normal because that is how humans talk. As long as they are able to put forth the content they have been working on clearly,it is a win!
So yes, take a leaf from Chris’s book and be gentle with your feedback. Know that your team is already doing their best (and is loaded with work), so be extra cautious about assigning additional work that is not related to what they are hired to do.
Follow this and soon you will be the most liked boss they ever had. Maybe, they will even buy you a mug that says - World’s Best Boss!
P.S. Remember everyone likes Michael only and only because Steve Carell is magic. He makes Michael lovable. If you ever find yourself thinking ‘ooo Michael will love this idea. This is so fun’, drop it. You are not Steve Carell and you won’t be able to pass off as an adorable goofball that Michael does. Be courteous. Be respectful. Be understanding. That is all your colleagues want from you.
You can book a 1:1 conversation with Susie or enrol in the academy to amp up your sharing feedback game! Why don’t you drop a word!
